France 1 England 0

Letter to the Editor of an English Newspaper

Sir,
  You report that the French TGV high-speed train has achieved a new
record of 316 miles per hour. I am sure you will agree that such speeds
offer remarkably poor value for money, since passengers are on the
train for much shorter periods than hitherto.

  By contrast, I have only today travelled, thanks to British Rail and
the London Underground, the 5 miles from Barbican to Westminster in a
full 65 minutes. What other major European capital city offers the
public an opportunity to spend so much time on its public transport
system at no extra charge?
  Yours faithfully