INSURANCE HUMOUR "IS THIS REALLY WHAT HAPPENED?"... Motor car accidents often leave the driver in a state of shock. Perhaps it was in a state of shock that the following statements were recorded on insurance forms when drivers attempted to summarize the details of accidents in as few words as possible. - I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. - The direct cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. - Coming home, I drove in the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. - The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intentions. - I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. - I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. - A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. - A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. - The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. - I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. - In an attempt to kill a fly I hit a telephone pole. - I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my view, and I didn't see the other car. - I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. - I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble, when my Universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. - As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no STOP sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. - To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struch a pedestrian. - My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. - I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat found that I had fractured my skull. - I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. - The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.