My Dog Sex               - anon.
                                  ==========

    Usually, everyone  who  has  a  dog  either calls  him  Rover  or  Boy  or
something. I call mine "Sex". Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I
took Sex for a walk and  he ran away from me.  I spent hours looking for  that
dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in this alley at 4:00 A.M.
I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up next Thursday.

    One day I went to city Hall to get a dog licence for Sex. The clerk  asked
me what I wanted.  I told him I  wanted a licence for  Sex. He said, "I  would
like to have  one, too." Then  I said,  "But this is  a dog." And  he said  he
didn't care how she looked. Then I  said, "You don't understand, I've had  Sex
since I was two years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

    When I decided to get married, I  told the minister that I wanted to  have
Sex at the wedding. He told me to  wait until after the wedding. I said,  "But
Sex played a big part of my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around  Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about  my personal life and would not marry  us
in his church. I told  him everyone coming to  the wedding would enjoy  having
Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family
is barred from the church.

    My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I  checked
into the motel I told the clerk that I  wanted a room for my wife and I  and a
special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for  Sex.
Then I said,  "You don't understand.  Sex keeps  me awake at  night." And  the
clerk said, "Me, too."

    One day I told my friend that I had Sex on T.V. He said, "Show-off" I told
him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets.

    When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of  the
dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." And the Judge said.
"Me, too." When I told him that after I was married Sex left me, he said, "Me,
too." Well, now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had  more
trouble with that dog than I ever  gambled for. Why just the other day  when I
went for my first session with the  psychiatrist and she said, "What seems  to
be the trouble?" I  replied, "Sex died  and left my  life. It's like  losing a
best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both
know that Sex isn't man's best friend- So GET YOURSELF A DOG!!!"