PHYSICS TERMS MADE EASY
			=======================

Calculus of residues		How to clean up a bathtub ring
Catoptric			A feline eye
Coma				Italian: Multi-toothed device for re-arranging
				one's hair
Commutator			A student who drives to work
Conic section			Funny paper
Corona				An officer who enquires into the the manner
				of a violent death
Cosine				Opposite of a "Stop sign"
Cusp				To use profane language
Exit pupil			A retiring student
Flux				Past participle of the verb 'to flex'
Gram				To review for examinations
Grand canonical ensemble	Ecumenical council
Graph				Principle item of a cow's diet
Ground state			Coffee, before brewing
Harmonic function		Concert
Hermitian operator		Recluse surgeon
Humbug				Noisy wiretap
Hypotenuse			Animal like rhinoceros but with no horn and
				no nose
Len				Singular of lens, specifically a one-surface
				optical instrument
Marginal ray			A ray of doubtful origin
Millimetre			A bug like a centimetre but with more legs
Normal solution			The wrong answer
Orifice				Headquarters or place of business
Paradox				Pair of Ph D's
Polygon				A dead parrot
Poynting vector			A redundant term; all vectors point
Spectra				A female ghost
Sphere				A long, pointed weapon
Spin operator			Owner of a Ferris wheel
Statistical correlation		36-22-35
Torque				Conversation
Ultraviolet catastrophe		Bad sunburn
Vortex				Point of a mathematical figure opposite the
				base
Watt				Will you please repeat that remark?