Call any Vegetable
 
    Call any vegetable; call it by name
    Call one today; when you get off the train
    Call any vegetable; and the chances are good
    That the vegetable will respond to you
 
    (Some people don't go for prunes... I don't know,
    I've always found that if they...)
 
    Call any vegetable; Pick up your phone
    Think of a vegetable, lonely at home
    Call any vegetable; and the chances are good
    That the vegetable will respond to you
 
    Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabay-y-y-y-y...
 
    (A prune isn't really a vegetable... CABBAGE is a vegatable..)
 
    No one will know if you don't want to let them know
    No one will know 'less it's you that might tell them so
 
    Call and they'll come to you
    Smiling and covered with dew
    Vegetables dream, vegetables dream
    Vegetables dream, of responding to you
 
    Standing there shiny and proud by your side
    Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
    Why is a vegetable something to hide/
 
    (A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
    They think: Oh, ah, what can I say?  What can a person like myself say
    to a vegetable?  But the answer is simple, my friends:  Just call, and tell
    them how you feel about muffins...pumpkins...wax paper... Caledonia,
    Mahoganies, elbows... green things in general... and soon, a new rapport...
    You and your new little green and yellow buddies, grooving together...
    Oh, no! Maintaining your cool together!  Worshipping together in the
    Church of your choice... (only in America...)
 
    Call any vegetable; call it by name
    You gotta call one today
    When you get off the train
 
    Call any vegetable,
    And the chances are good
    WOW! That the vegetable will respond to you
 
    (Oh, no!  Can you see them responding?  That pumpkin is breathing hard...
    h-h-h-h-h-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-HHHHHHHHHHHH!!  (What a pumpkin...))"