N E W S  F L A S H
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The safety of the world is in jeopardy. Latest events in the world of Wombling
have meant that this could be the end of civilisation as we know it.
Mr Yeti, speaking yesterday at a conference for the Ministry of Small Furry
Animals and Other OTC Recruits Annual Piss Up, said "These wombles are complete
Bastards and are dangerous to the life and limb of the country. They seem to 
spend all of their time associating with known Glaswegian fatties and using
large words."
Dr Yeti of the Institute for the Study of Wombles, Sheep and Other Things to
be used When The Toilet Roll Runs Out said yesterday: "Tomskus Tomskus is a 
particularly dangerous breed of womble and should not be approached under any
circumstances. If seen run like hell!"
Hamish McYeti of the Edinburgh Institute for the Study of the Haggis, the Loch
Ness Monster and other Scottish Inventions to Attract Loud Mouthed American
Tourists said of the incident: "Och, ye ken the Haggis, Jimmy? Well the Womble
is a particularly nasty breed. Och, I cannae mind where I put my whisky!"
Meanwhile, the world lives in fear.